Why does the guy with the 17 items in the express line …

always end up in my line ?   Almost 80% of the time I go to the Supermarket  I end up scoping the express lines and bolting to the one with the least people  and the line that doesn’t have black holes.   But it seems that if I see a line that doesn’t look bad I run over to it  and there’s this old lady with one item on the belt ( cottage cheese)  but then reaches down into her Felix the Cat bag and pulls out 17 more items,  One a Day vitamins. liverwurst, Dentyne, Lady Fingers, etc    I can’t get mad at some old bat   so I move over to the next empty one.. and as soon as I get there some guy who looks like  Dick Butkus just beats me there with a ”  Ah  you don’t mind pal..I got to get to a party”   So because he’s already in front of me  and because he also looks like he would kill me if I took one of his Red Bulls, I decide to let him go.    bottom line  is that I dare not switch ( The old Lady is still taking stuff out of her Felix Bag)  so I stand behind Bonco Nagursky and endue his conversation on how he’s gonna get ” ripped ” tonight then go home and take care of the little woman.   Uh   Maybe you’ll get drunk, but if someone would sleep with you , she/he/it   would still not sleep with you ol flat-top.   That’s why I’m  51 and pissed “