I’m Pissed today because everybody in town is going away for the Spring Break next week…

and I’m stuck at home hoping to go on a few day trips. It’s kind of my fault.(1).No early planning (some women I know have been planning this trip since the GIANTS won the Super Bowl) (2) Don’t want to spend the cash( In my defense it’s hard spending $4500 (prob low) when it’s 67 degrees outside and the only benefit is drinking (I can do that here( and laying in broiling sun ( I’m Irish/Italian so my Irish half (face and arms and legs) burn to a crisp…I can do that here on a lacrosse field just as easy. But here’s the thing that really pisses me off. Why is there a Spring Break for teachers ? Were the months of February ( wait they had a break in Feb)..Ok March ( You had Saint Patricks Day) that brutal that they needed a break ? So because they were so stressed from March 1st to April 15th ( BTW you had the NCAA Tourney in there to bide your time ) that they needed another break before slaving for another month before they have off 3 months for the Summer , that I need to now take my 5 kids (2 in college that’s really inexpensive) and spend 4500 to take them somewhere and drink overpriced Tequila Sunrises and pay SICK cash to watch some cheap version of a porpoise(dolphin..who cares about the difference) named Quipper( Snap) swim around a small tank in Quipper World ? Thanks Mrs McGillicudy and your strong Union !

Things that Piss Me Off, No. 5.. MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY !

I want to like him.. I really do. Seems like a go0d Irish Guy, but every time I see him he’s making another BAD movie,dating a SUPER-HOT Model or Actress or walking around with his shirt off and a Cowboy hat on near a beach or a pool. I think it was 2005 when PEOPLE named him sexiest male on the planet. Now that sounds like I’m jealous, but I’m not..For sure. But here’s why I’m pissed. He has never made a Good Movie ( please don’t say WE ARE MARSHALL or DAZED AND CONFUSED(the 14 year old boy next door to me could have done it), his hair is retreating faster then our shorelines,but he still gets like 3 mill a movie, gets superhot chicks, and drinks Tequila on any beach in the world at anytime he wants. Ahh , maybe I am jealous ! That’s why I’m pissed !

I’m PISSED # 22.Because OBAMA wants to give Amnesty to Illegal Aliens !

Dude .Are you kidding me?  I am 51 and have been paying a lot of Taxes for 31 years and now OBAMA is telling me that millions of ILLEGAL ALIENS can get Health Care,Education,Long Term Care for doing what ?  For crossing the border illegally ?  Is  there any sense in that at all ?  Who in this country  wants that..And those  who do  why don’t  they  take the ILLEGAL ALIENS into their home , put them on their Health Plan( Good Luck with that), and send them to their kids schools ?  C’mon Dudes let’s get REAL !

Are you kidding me .. The first day of LACROSSE and it rains in NYC !

C’mon God give us LAXERS a break . I’m sitting here in Northern New Jersey and it just started to pour. We need it to stop because our first lacrosse outdoor practice is tonight. Please oh great Lord above stop this deluge !

Things that PISS ME OFF..No.17..SKIING !

The kids had off( seems like they have off more days then civil servants), so my wife and I took the kiddies up to visit friends in New Hampshire for some Skiing, Drinking, and ..well that’s it. The first morning was fine. Eggs, coffee, NY Post, and then it happened.. Death by Ski preparation. My 9 year old son had to have 17 layers of long johns, thermal socks,plastic concoctions for moisture ,and of course ski pants that looked like the Sta-Puff man gave away last Christmas. And that was only my 9 year old. Next up my 5 year old. 19 minutes and 140,000 sweat beads later he was ready. We drove it seemed like for 3 hours ( 13 minutes in skiers time), til we got to the mountain. It just started. Lift tickets, rentals in crowded,over-heated basements with pimpled 17 year old discontents with attitudes, questioning ME, the 51 year old pissed off one ,why I didn’t know my 9 year olds exact weight. ” Why is that so important ” I mumbled. ” Ah it’s not man if you don’t mind you sons ankles breaking”. Whether the 9 year old boy weighed 64 or 70 didn’t seem that important to me( I know about bindings ) ,but was it really going to snap both his ankles as if they were made of Tofu , or whatever that dude was eating behind the counter. ” Just pick the higher number OPIE, and he’ll be fine”. I responded. So there I stood in 18 degree temp(-7 with wind)and watched as my 5 year old and my 9 year old made pizza wedges at the rate of $ 50 an hour. Nice work if you can get it. I walked back to the lounge with 3 thoughts running through my frostbitten head. 1) Tequila 2) I hate skiing 3) The Beatles. Yeah remember in HELP, when the Beatles went skiing and they were falling all over the place ? I remember as a 8 year old thinking.Why would anyone ever do that, especially THE BEATLES. Well I still have the same question.. Why THE BEATLES..Why my 5 and 9 year old, or even Tofu boy and most importantly,..Why the 51 year old Pissed off Guy ?