Things that Piss Me Off, No. 5.. MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY !

I want to like him.. I really do. Seems like a go0d Irish Guy, but every time I see him he’s making another BAD movie,dating a SUPER-HOT Model or Actress or walking around with his shirt off and a Cowboy hat on near a beach or a pool. I think it was 2005 when PEOPLE named him sexiest male on the planet. Now that sounds like I’m jealous, but I’m not..For sure. But here’s why I’m pissed. He has never made a Good Movie ( please don’t say WE ARE MARSHALL or DAZED AND CONFUSED(the 14 year old boy next door to me could have done it), his hair is retreating faster then our shorelines,but he still gets like 3 mill a movie, gets superhot chicks, and drinks Tequila on any beach in the world at anytime he wants. Ahh , maybe I am jealous ! That’s why I’m pissed !

Pissed Off No.12. Obnoxious fathers hitting tennis balls with his 2 sons !

C’mon dude ..Be real. Your 55 +, with a beard that Charlton Heston wore in the PLANET OF THE APES, huge MONK CAP bald spot, and a lime green and black tennis sweat outfit that Ivan Lendl threw out because it was so ugly back in 1987. Here’s this guy..Yelling at his twin sons… ” Adam.That’s not the way you move your feet when you hiy a backhand” ..” Kyle. Please with that shot ..You’re making yourself look like a 7 year old..That sickens me.” Now the worst was when one of our balls ( we were playing in an obviously inferior game) went on Charlton Bizzaro’s court.) ” Ah a little please, I urged” He turned to me and said in a Jackie Mason voice.. ” In a minute..In a minute” Now I know a minute isn’t a long time, but it is when your playing tennis in one hour block on Monday night and its an eternity when a jerk asks you to wait so he can yell at his 16 year old son. ” C’mon dude, just get my ball please ” I was waiting for Adam to drill a 117 mile an hour serve into Heston’s head, but obviously his footwork wouldn’t be good enough, so I was stuck dealing with dirtbag myself. And as if the heavens knew their was trouble brewing, Kyle picked up the ball and tossed it over the netting and into my partners hand. ” Thanks Dude” I said to Kyle and headed back to my game when Charlton Heston called out . “Let that be the last one” …” Our Father, Who art..” I started because I needed the good Lord to help before I pulled a McEnroe on this dude and smashed my racquet over his bald spot. But I walked away. The rest of our game sucked because I was distracted, but in the end the only one who looses was those 2 boys. So let me make a plea to all those Todd Marinovich fathers out there who really think their making a difference. You not. You suck , not your sons. Go home and take a cold shower and go watch the GREAT SANTINI. It might make you think a little. or Better yet.. Get THE PLANET OF THE APES and see what a jerk looks like !